The Brokenhearted
by Afrodite
Summary: Dark secrets cause dramatic and tragic changes to relationships, allowing Naraku to once again prey upon weaknesses.
1. Two Hearts, Too Tired

"Ah, this is the life!"

Kagome snuggled her face into her pillow and deeply inhaled the relaxing aroma of the chamomile-scented candle she had lit.

As much as she enjoyed her new friends from the past, at times she longed for modern amenities like beds in place of floor mats, and hot water plumbing in place of hot springs (who knows what could be swimming around in those!)

Kagome breathed vigorously, taking in the scent and calming herself down from all of the danger she had been in earlier that week—and earlier today. Fleeting images of Inuyasha and their companions frequently interrupted her calm. Faces circled around and around over a black background. Inuyasha pouting, Shippo grinning, Miroku feigning innocence, and Sango narrowing her eyes with suspicion at Miroku.

Kagome sighed in slight frustration, but then smiled. She would not have it any other way. She had grown very attached to her friends from the past, more so than she was with friends from her own time. Her current friends, as she had been, were too sheltered and superficial. Their lives weren't in danger on a daily basis, so they were free to discuss boys and difficult math tests.

It was not their fault, but Kagome had matured and they would not be able to catch up with her. Kagome surprised herself as she suddenly thought of Kikyo. Kikyo, whose young life was cut short long before Naraku's malicious scheme. Kikyo's youth, Kagome realized, was interrupted by her obligation to the Shikon jewel. In that life, she was destined to be isolated and alone, until Inuyasha came along. Her death by Naraku's manipulations ruined her chance to be free, but her reincarnation would live the life she could have had.

Kagome's eyes saddened. She understood Kikyo's pain, she really did—but what was she to do? Kagome didn't want to give up Inuyasha or her adventures in the feudal era. Besides, even if she did, it wouldn't bring Kikyo back to life for real. As long as she was the walking dead, Kikyo could not be with Inuyasha in that lifetime, as Kaede had explained to her older sister the day she was resurrected.

Giving up on a peaceful night's sleep, Kagome sat up in her bed with her knees drawn up to her chin. As much as she tried to claim her own identity and insist on not being compared to Kikyo, Kagome couldn't help but wonder if she owed it to Kikyo to continue on with Inuyasha to give her spirit the life it longed for. Whether or not Kikyo liked her, Kagome was born of her essence.

Kagome sighed. It frustrated her that she had no choice in the matter. She didn't want to be Kikyo's reincarnation. She wanted to be Kagome, and nobody else.

Images of the moments she spied on Inuyasha and Kikyo played in Kagome's mind, as did the moments in which Kikyo mistreated her. She had even brought Kikyo back to life—if one could call it that—but the priestess, dissatisfied with Kagome's reason for doing so, didn't thank her.

Kagome's eyes began to tear with the remembrance of that day. Does it matter why she revived Kikyo? The fact is, she did, and a thank you would have sufficed. Kagome regretted saying that she helped Kikyo simply because she believed she was the only who could, but that doesn't mean that she didn't care. Did she?

Kagome frowned. At one point, she had wished that Kikyo would just disappear, but regretted that thought because she knew it would hurt Inuyasha. It wasn't fair, though, that Kikyo attempted to kill her, but as soon as she wishes for Kikyo to r.i.p., she has to check herself.

Kagome gripped her pink comforter in her hands, seething with anger.

"I will not let Kikyo, or anybody else for that matter, make a fool of me _ever_ _again_," she vowed, the tears now coursing down her cheeks.

Kagome curled into the fetal position and sobbed herself to sleep.

* * *

What do you want, monk?" Inuyasha growled testily.

Inuyasha's back was facing Miroku as he sat overlooking a riverbank.

"You've been distant ever since Kagome left," Miroku said patiently.

Inuyasha huffed.

"You miss her," Miroku said matter-of-factly.

"Heh," Inuyasha huffed again. "I don't care, it's just, well...she's always around, so when she's gone it just feels weird, ya know?"

Miroku nodded.

"Perhaps while she's gone you should do some thinking about your, uh, commitment issues," said Miroku, his eyes flashing mischievously.

"I don't have commitment issues!" Inuyasha hissed, trying to keep his voice low so that Sango or Shippo wouldn't overhear.

Sango and Shippo were staring curiously over at the two young men from several feet away by a campfire.

"Kagome seems to think otherwise."

"Well, then _she's_ the one who has issues," Inuyasha insisted. "I told her that I choose Kikyo, and she decided to stick with me anyway, so it's her own fault if she gets hurt!"

Miroku frowned. "You know what kind of girl Kagome is. She didn't just stay because of you—she feels obligated to help recover the jewel shards, since she was the one who broke it in the first place. And what about Shippo, Sango and, dare I say it, me? She doesn't want to leave her friends, either."

"She's got friends in her own time," Inuyasha snapped, crossing his arms.

Miroku sighed. "You're hopeless," he said with a shake of his head.

He turned to walk back to the campfire, but not before bopping Inuyasha on the head with his staff.

"Ow, damn it, Miroku, what was that for!" Inuyasha snarled.

"Well, since Kagome's not here to 'sit' you, I decided to 'stick' you instead," Miroku said smugly, grinning impishly.

Inuyasha shook his fist at Miroku's retreating figure, but slowly brought it down as he came to a realization.

He missed Kagome.

Inuyasha sighed heavily and returned to looking at the water. He wondered, as he did often since Kikyo's resurrection, if it would have been better had he been the one who died. Then he wouldn't be caught between two women, and keep hurting them the way he has. His decision may have been easier if Kikyo remained dead, but his grief may be too much to bear. Although Kagome had helped get his mind off of Kikyo at times, it didn't change the tragic past, and his guilt. How dare he move on while Kikyo continued to suffer?

Inuyasha growled in frustration. Perhaps he would be better off going back to his old ways, or even returning to his original goal of becoming a full demon, so he wouldn't get tied down by complex relationship issues. He was tired of it all. Tired of Kikyo's inconsistent behaviour and tired of Kagome's insecurity.

Before Inuyasha knew it, he had grumbled himself to sleep.


	2. From Ramen to Raging

It was hard waking up the next morning, but Kagome had promised Inuyasha that she would arrive by dawn. He reasoned that the earlier they started hunting the jewel shards, the more time they'll have.

Kagome pouted as she wondered why she bothered making promises to a boy who couldn't decide whether he wanted to be with her or not.

Sighing, Kagome made her bed and prepared for her last hot shower before returning to the rivers of feudal Japan.

She decided against wearing her school uniform—it just wasn't practical. Not only was she not going to be in school for a while, a short skirt and blouse was just not proper fighting gear. Kagome opted for an old pair of dark blue jeans and a fitted, short-sleeved pink tee.

The outfit was still not fighting-ready, but at least most of her skin was covered. Kagome shrugged, flung her yellow backpack over one shoulder and headed off.

Thankfully, no one in the household was up. Kagome hurriedly tiptoed out.

Once at the well, Kagome practically leaped in. Her mood was brightening as she thought how happy Inuyasha would be that she arrived on time for once, and that she brought lots of ramen noodles!

She giggled happily as she fell through the well.

* * *

"Well, well, someone finally decided to arrive on time," Inuyasha sneered, smirking.

However sarcastic his tone, Kagome could see the delight in his eyes. He was happy for her return.

Smiling, Kagome held up her backpack.

"Guess what I've got in here?" she teased.

"Those 'math' books you dread so much?" Inuyasha answered, somewhat impatiently.

Kagome shuddered. "No, I left those dreadful things at home. I've got _ramen_," she said seductively.

Inuyasha's eyes widened instantly. "Let's go!" he cried, grabbing Kagome's hand and practically flying her back to Kaede's hut.

* * *

The others grinned at Inuyasha as he slurped up the ramen. Kagome sighed contently, willing to forget those negative thoughts she'd entertained yesterday. She enjoyed being with Inuyasha and was tired of being consumed by her insecurities about Kikyo.

She lowered her bowl slowly as she realized that Kikyo had not made an appearance in quite awhile. Kagome frowned.

_What could she be up to?_

Entertaining thoughts of a truly dead Kikyo, Kagome looked guiltily over at Inuyasha.

_Oh well_, she thought. _It's not like I have to tell him what I'm thinking_.

She smiled smugly.

"What are you smiling about?" Inuyasha jeered, noodles hanging from the corners of his mouth.

Kagome stifled a laugh. "Oh nothing in particular—I'm just happy, that's all."

"Yeah, whatever," Inuyasha mumbled, who shoved his bowl in front of Kaede, expecting to be served.

Kaede frowned at Inuyasha, who then shook her head at Kagome. "Honestly, I don't know what you or my sister see in this guy."

Sango, Miroku and Shippo chuckled, also shaking their heads knowingly.

Kagome smiled, but inwardly she wondered if she could answer Kaede's question, were it not rhetorical.

As the others went back to enjoying the noodles, Kagome returned to fantasizing about life without Kikyo.

Images of her and Inuyasha picnicking and snuggling by a campfire watching the stars played like a silent film in her mind. She smiled contently. In her fantasies, she was free to love Inuyasha, and free to hate Kikyo.

"Kagome, ye seem rather preoccupied this morning," Kaede said warmly, noticing the contented look on the girl's face.

"No, no," Kagome insisted, feeling somewhat annoyed at being interrupted. "Like I said, I'm just happy to be here."

Kaede frowned slightly while studying Kagome's face.

"I think it is high time that ye and I had a talk," Kaede said quietly, not wanting to alert the others.

Kagome stared worriedly back at Kaede, but nodded her consent.

The others were too busy teasing Inuyasha about his piggish eating habits to wonder about Kagome and Kaede's departure.

Once they were a good several feet from the hut, Kaede motioned for Kagome to stop by placing a hand on the girl's shoulder.

"Kagome, what it is that ye plan to do if and when Naraku is defeated? Do ye wish to remain here with Inuyasha?"

Kagome looked down at her sneakers, suddenly interested in their pink and white design.

"Well, um, if...I don't know," she stammered, her cheeks flushing. "I mean, I guess if he doesn't mind, then I don't either."

"I'm afraid ye are not long for this world," Kaede said gravely, causing Kagome's head to snap back up in shock and anger.

"What do you mean, Kaede?" Kagome demanded. "After all I've been through here, I just have to go back—just like that?"

Kaede remained silent.

"Oh, I see," Kagome said testily. "And I thought you liked me. I mean, you let me stay in your home, you taught me things..."

Kaede frowned. "What are ye getting at?"

Kagome frowned back. "I think that _ye_ wants Inuyasha with your sister, and that's why you're making me believe I have to leave!"

Kaede gasped. "Ye are mistaken! I would never!"

"Well, then what is it then?" Kagome said, throwing her hands up in the air.

Inwardly, Kagome was in turmoil. Just a moment ago, she had regained inner peace, and now Kaede, of all people, was destroying it.

_I guess I should have seen this coming_, Kagome thought bitterly. _After all, she is Kikyo's sister._

"This conversation is over," Kagome said quietly, turning to leave.

"No, this is far from over," growled an angry half-demon.

Kaede stared calmly back at Inuyasha's glare, but inwardly she wondered whether he would hurt her. She sighed. The conversation hadn't gone as planned, and Kagome had misunderstood her intentions. Now, she had a seething half-demon to reckon with.

"No one tells Kagome to leave, old hag!" Inuyasha barked.

"Inuyasha, ye misunderstand what I was trying to say," Kaede pleaded.

"Like hell I did!" Inuyasha spat.

He grabbed Kagome's hand. "Come on, Kagome, we're getting outta here. This old wench can't be trusted."

Kaede's eyes saddened. Even Kagome, who was still angry with Kaede, felt sorry for the old priestess. For the first time, Kagome saw Kaede's vulnerability.

Inuyasha dragged Kagome inside to gather the others, ignoring their protests. Sango, Miroku and Shippo apologized for Inuyasha before they followed Inuyasha and Kagome.

Kaede shook her head sadly as she watched the retreating figures.

_How did it come to this?_

"Everyone seems to think I'm just some old maid," Kaede said bitterly. "They know not what I suffered in the years after my sister's death. But they soon will..."

She slowly re-entered the hut. As for much of her youth and adult life, she was alone.


End file.
